If someone running things on that side of the continent had any type of vision whatsoever, Eastern European football would have its own reality television network by now. From top to bottom Hollywood scripts have been leaching from their football for years without a single royalty, I’m sure of it. Between the action flicks, the capers, the gangsters and the occasional feel-good, it’s like walking into a video store, but with dodgy video feeds.

The pioneers for an inevitable Eastern European Reality TV channel are CSKA Sofia, who just can’t help but fall into trouble.

And the first show will be This Week In CSKA Sofia:

Sunday: CSKA fans invade pitch versus Lokomotiv Mezdra, game abandoned.

Apparently going one-nil down with a half-hour to go away is entirely unacceptable. With standards like this, it’s a wonder how Bulgarian society continues to motor on – how do they ever find an acceptable mate for procreation?
– The goalscorer, Ismail Isa, being on loan from CSKA’s most detested rivals may have something to do with it too. But still – 1-0.

Monday: CSKA handed three match stadium ban.

Lokomotiv’s grounds were hardly well-equipped to deal with an onslaught of toddlers on tricycles, much less angry football fans: There was no police presence inside the stadium because Lokomotiv refused to pay the security taxes.

This is mere speculation but could it be those who were due the taxes were the ones rioting? I mean, it’s not like there’s a term for this or anything…

Making it doubly strange is that CSKA will be forced to play at a neutral venue, not under closed doors. Wouldn’t the ultimate point be to remove the fans from the games, rather than simply allow them to cause trouble elsewhere?

Tuesday (I): Forward Orlin Orlinov is arrested for alleged assault and kidnapping.

Police said Orlinov, 21, was arrested following allegations made by a woman who said she was beaten and then locked in the player’s apartment for several hours. “He has limited her freedom of movement and this is abduction,” police department chief Natasha Nikolova told reporters.

Nothing shines up a league image like a good kidnapping.

It’s like they’ve scrapped football as the first priority, knowing full well the glitz and glamour underneath the Hollywood lights is their true calling. (Not that we condone violent acts for the sake of a script…unless it’s a really good script*.)

* – All Hollywood movies nowadays are simply overseas remakes, hence the need for a reality show first.

Tuesday (II): CSKA handed a 4-0 loss for the game versus Lokomotiv Mezdra, which was 1-0 at the time.

Wouldn’t the 1-0 loss have sufficed? Hittin’ ‘em where it hurts most: goal differential.

Wednesday: CSKA declare they’re considering pulling from the league.


“You know that I was tolerant so far but it’s getting out of control,” Dimitar Borisov told Bulgarian sports daily Tema Sport on Wednesday.

“I am seriously considering taking CSKA out of the championship. It’s so obvious that the BFU’s (Bulgarian Football Union) officials took their decisions under pressure.

“Coach (Ioan) Andone has already told me that he’s ready to leave,” added Borisov, who said CSKA fans had been provoked.

Will they? Or will they trudge on in the face of adversity? Find out next week on….

March, 25, 2010